“Executive function” is a term for the brain’s ability to organize work and initiate it. Executive dysfunction is a problem for people with ADD, ADHD, learning disabilities, or who have suffered a stroke. If you have been diagnosed with one of these conditions, you should understand you’re NOT to blame for being lazy or disorganized. The following video by Marta Rose presents strategies and hacks for coping with executive dysfunction. Below the video is a link to her YouTube page with resources.
Organize your space with the Marie Kondo method: Get rid of anything that doesn’t serve you, and store other things vertically. Executive dysfunction causes people to forget about things they don’t see often, so a lot of waste builds up.
Plan your schedule using a bullet journal: the bullet journal was invented by an ADHD patient. It’s a type of planner with bulleted to-do lists organized by months and days. You can index each list at the front of the journal.
Initiate tasks: have a work companion, or imagine someone is watching you do a project. By having a real or imagined companion, you’ll feel more accountable and be spurred into action.
Break tasks into small sections: Another challenge when initiating tasks is taking in the size of those tasks. Break them into stages and handle them one at a time.
Emotional Control: People with ADD and ADHD have above average emotional intelligence and sensitivity. When society uses the term “emotional control,” they’re showing discomfort with the expressiveness of ADD patients. For their part, patients can practice mindfulness and meditation. They can also set boundaries with people who judge and bully them.
Outsource: People with ADD will never be good at certain things, and we should accept that. Those things can be left to others, and ADD patients should embrace the tasks they ARE good at.
This YouTube video by DoctorRamani discusses narcissists and how they seize power in organizations, families, and other groups. She refers to the old saying, “in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” In this sense, normal people are modest and admit to the limits of their knowledge, but the fake confidence of narcissists convinces others to trust their leadership.
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Narcissists are good at convincing us they’re on the ball and are better at their jobs than anyone else. Normal people don’t question this because they’ve been conditioned to doubt themselves. They may have been raised by narcissists, or been abused by teachers or bullies at school.
Dr. Ramani describes how families can be wrecked financially because a narcissistic member took control. Then she moves on to government and politics, how politicians and bureaucrats triangulate their way into positions of power. The way we combat government corruption is learning the ways of narcissism. I have made this point repeatedly on this blog, and I’m gratified to hear a licensed professional like the doctor make the connection as well. Dr. Ramani ends with the warning to never assume that a person with authority deserves that authority. Never passively give up your autonomy.
Speaking personally, I learned to stand up for myself when I simultaneously practiced martial arts and made a relationship with God. In martial arts, one learns to trust their gut during meditation. In the Bible, God often empowers human beings with his spirit, and they accomplish great things through faith. When I realized that Western religion and Eastern philosophy were describing the same phenomenon, my life changed. When you open yourself to God’s spirit, you’ll feel a warm sensation and experience inspiration. This is God giving you guidance you can trust, far better than what narcissists spew out. This is the source of true confidence.
This YouTube video by Psych2Go offers six unexpected signs you’re on the right path in life. Not all of these may apply to you at the present moment, but you can learn to take advantage of the ones that do. In these times when the U.S. government is compromised and the economy is struggling, take stock of your own situation, practice gratitude, and be open to any possibilities. By showing kindness to yourself and others, you can help save society.
You’re forming quality relationships with others.
You’re content and feel at peace.
Things are getting tough. When you face challenges, but you’re willing to take them on rather than run, that’s a good sign.
You think less about the past, and more about the future.
You’re mentally satisfied, even if you’re physically exhausted.
Everything seems to align in your favor. This comes with having an open mind, and having an opportunity, rather than a crisis thought process.
In this post, we learn of strategies and phrases to disarm toxic people in our lives. They are presented in the following YouTube video by Inner Integration. Toxic people such as narcissists and sociopaths crave to impose their will on others, so we need practical strategies to protect our freedom. This applies not just to our personal lives, but in the larger society.
Around the world today, one of the main topics of debate is whether or not to take the COVID 19 vaccine. Some people believe it will keep them safe from the virus, while others are suspicious of the establishment pushing it so hard. As with many cases of corruption, I feel the deeper issue is abuse by narcissists, sociopaths, etc. If you’re being pressured by your employer, friends, or family, into doing something you think is wrong, use the following strategies and phrases to stand up for yourself. Similar to certain styles of martial arts, you will redirect the enemy’s attack and turn it back on them.
5 Strategies To Disarm Toxic People
Breathe: Deep breaths bring you into the present moment.
Set a new boundary: Get comfortable saying “no” to this person.
Observe: Mentally separate from the interaction and imagine watching it in the 3rd person. This helps you judge the situation objectively. Remove your emotions from the interaction.
Guard your attention: The toxic person wants to direct your attention to their own purposes, and get you to react emotionally. Focus on things that line up with your integrity.
Phrasing: Verbally redirect the toxic person’s attacks so you don’t clash head-on.
Phrases To Disarm Toxic People:
“That’s interesting. I wonder why you feel that?” This helps when you’re setting boundaries and made to feel selfish for doing so.
“That’s possible.” For when you’re insulted or called names.
“I see you feel strongly about this, and we see things differently.” For when you have a difference of opinion and it’s no use arguing your points.
“I would like to maintain a relationship of mutual respect.” Say this when there is a huge outburst of verbal abuse. Understand it’s not really about you, and you don’t need to feed them your emotions.
“Let’s talk when you’re feeling better.” You can also say this during an outburst. Don’t feel obligated to respond to them immediately; give them and yourself time to think.
“I noticed you’re upset. Did I do something to offend you?” Say this when the toxic person is committing covert abuse, like the silent treatment or passive aggression. Only approach them when you’re ready, on your terms.
“I see how upset you are. What do you think you’re going to do about it?” Say this when someone constantly complains and feeds off your sympathy, but doesn’t make a change.
“I hope you feel better.” Say this when someone throws an outright tantrum of insults and abuse. It’s not your responsibility to help them when they’re like that.
In the past week, violent political riots erupted once again. They are a reaction to another police killing of an African American citizen. Rather than argue whether it was justified, and whether there is institutional racism in America’s police forces, this post will examine narcissistic behavior. I have theorized before, political corruption is narcissistic abuse writ large. Study the behaviors mentioned here, and try to determine if they appear in your conversations about current events.
This post features 2 videos by the YouTube channel “Surviving Narcissism.” They deal with narcissists’ lies, and their need to create enemies. Open-minded and honest conversations with a narcissist are impossible. You’ll find you’re always tiptoeing around them to keep the peace, or having explosive arguments with them. Narcissists are empty people incapable of empathy. They desire to dominate others, and lie without remorse.
In the first video, cohost Laura Charanza describes 5 types of lies narcissists tell.
Narcissists don’t care about the here and now: Narcissists don’t think far ahead in their lying. They lie to serve their immediate goals, and if they get caught later, they’ll lie about it then. They rely more on emotional pressure than logic.
Many narcissists have low emotional intelligence: They say what they think with no regard to other people’s feelings. If they hurt your feelings, they’ll lie about that.
They lie about themselves: They don’t hesitate to express that they’re better than you and others. Take note if a narcissist ever speaks positively about other people. They’re usually condescending or marginalizing.
Quid Pro Quo Lie: They pretend to bargain, and offer favors in return for favors. They will always double cross you.
“It’s Your Fault” Lie: Narcissists never take responsibility for what goes wrong, and they will move blame to someone else.
It’s not your responsibility to make a narcissist tell the truth, or to reason with them. It’s okay to set boundaries and standards for how you should be treated. When you recognize narcissistic behavior and understand you don’t deserve that treatment, you should feel free to disengage and act on your own.
In the next video, Dr. Les Carter explains why narcissists need to create enemies. They can’t peacefully coexist with others, they think they must conquer and dominate people. The first thing to understand is, narcissists are very unlikeable, but they can’t understand why that is. They’re not capable of empathy or understanding other people’s point of view. When people don’t automatically admire a narcissist, the narcissist becomes hostile.
Rather than reflect on themselves, narcissists make up fantasies that the other person is horrible, and deserves punishment. Once again, they shift blame onto others for their own shortcomings. They have no introspective ability, and they project their faults onto everyone else.
In this video by Surviving Narcissism, Dr. Les Carter gives us 7 options for when you can’t avoid a narcissist. You may be in a situation where you can’t completely leave an abusive relationship, whether you’re family, or if you work together, or you share the same social circle and leaving the narcissist means leaving other people you love.
Stop wishing for a better relationship: You don’t really have a relationship with a narcissist, and they’re not going to improve.
Learn to stay functional: Learn what your bare minimum responsibilities are to the narcissist, and don’t spend more energy than that.
Unhook emotionally: Realize the narcissist’s cruelty is not a reflection on you, but on them. Don’t take it personally.
Monitor your anger reactions: Narcissists take pleasure in your anger. Take your emotions out of the “relationship,” and they will lose interest in abusing you.
Drop your instinct to defend: This doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself, but you should deny them the pleasure of arguing and emotional strife.
Refrain from personal sharing: Personal information is leverage to a narcissist. Minimize sharing it.
Stop trying to interpret the narcissist’s behavior: This just feeds their ego more, and the attention is not reciprocated in a healthy way.
These practices are part of the “Gray Rock” method of dealing with narcissists. Your goal should be to disengage emotionally. It helps to learn and manage your emotional triggers, something that a therapist or life coach can help with.