In this post, we learn of strategies and phrases to disarm toxic people in our lives. They are presented in the following YouTube video by Inner Integration. Toxic people such as narcissists and sociopaths crave to impose their will on others, so we need practical strategies to protect our freedom. This applies not just to our personal lives, but in the larger society.
Around the world today, one of the main topics of debate is whether or not to take the COVID 19 vaccine. Some people believe it will keep them safe from the virus, while others are suspicious of the establishment pushing it so hard. As with many cases of corruption, I feel the deeper issue is abuse by narcissists, sociopaths, etc. If you’re being pressured by your employer, friends, or family, into doing something you think is wrong, use the following strategies and phrases to stand up for yourself. Similar to certain styles of martial arts, you will redirect the enemy’s attack and turn it back on them.
5 Strategies To Disarm Toxic People
- Breathe: Deep breaths bring you into the present moment.
- Set a new boundary: Get comfortable saying “no” to this person.
- Observe: Mentally separate from the interaction and imagine watching it in the 3rd person. This helps you judge the situation objectively. Remove your emotions from the interaction.
- Guard your attention: The toxic person wants to direct your attention to their own purposes, and get you to react emotionally. Focus on things that line up with your integrity.
- Phrasing: Verbally redirect the toxic person’s attacks so you don’t clash head-on.
Phrases To Disarm Toxic People:
“That’s interesting. I wonder why you feel that?” This helps when you’re setting boundaries and made to feel selfish for doing so.
“That’s possible.” For when you’re insulted or called names.
“I see you feel strongly about this, and we see things differently.” For when you have a difference of opinion and it’s no use arguing your points.
“I would like to maintain a relationship of mutual respect.” Say this when there is a huge outburst of verbal abuse. Understand it’s not really about you, and you don’t need to feed them your emotions.
“Let’s talk when you’re feeling better.” You can also say this during an outburst. Don’t feel obligated to respond to them immediately; give them and yourself time to think.
“I noticed you’re upset. Did I do something to offend you?” Say this when the toxic person is committing covert abuse, like the silent treatment or passive aggression. Only approach them when you’re ready, on your terms.
“I see how upset you are. What do you think you’re going to do about it?” Say this when someone constantly complains and feeds off your sympathy, but doesn’t make a change.
“I hope you feel better.” Say this when someone throws an outright tantrum of insults and abuse. It’s not your responsibility to help them when they’re like that.