In this YouTube video by Surviving Narcissism, Dr. Les Carter explains “authoritarian narcissists,” which are a type that exploit our sense of duty and responsibility. Authoritarian narcissists have no respect for the freedom of other people.
Dr. Carter first lists indicators of authoritarian narcissism:
- Low regard for others’ preferences- when faced with differing opinions or ways of thinking, the narcissist automatically assumes they’re wrong, no discussion.
- Unwilling to process emotions- they don’t acknowledge their own emotions or those of others, and they’re incapable of flexible thinking.
- Don’t manage diversity well- they can’t accept differences in culture, lifestyle, or philosophy.
- Principles can be fluid- this may sound oxymoronic, but their principles only exist to serve their own purposes. They go back on their word without hesitation.
- Constantly shifting ‘facts’- again, their principles and stories are self-serving. This also keeps their victims off balance and confused.
- You must filter your decisions through them- they can’t tolerate their victims having agency.
- Refuse to be held accountable
- Highly competitive
- Prone to paranoia
- Motivating others through guilt and shame
- Motivating through anger- they are prone to intimidation and threats
- Will hold grudges
- Emotionally fragile
- No internal peace
- Draw energy by making others submissive
- Poor analytical thinking
Authoritarian narcissists are insecure, and their outward appearance is a false self. They’re driven by a fear of other people outshining them, and they trust no one. They don’t understand love and friendship, so they crave power as a basis of good will. Such a mindset is clearly wrong, but narcissists are defective people. If someone’s behavior fits in the listed indicators, rest assured their mistreatment is really about them, not you.
If someone comes at you with these behaviors, don’t bother seeking validation from them. In fact, your validation matters more. Human beings deserve the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Anyone who doesn’t acknowledge that has no place in civil society, let alone your personal life.